Well, this is the fifth text that I write here in this space. In the first, the Sheet published an editorial text about the debut of the blog and there the comments were activated. I read nice things, it gave me the feeling that finally all my suffering was being resignified.
One comment in particular awakened an annoyance that I knew would surface: “Too bad it’s a pseudonym, it would gain even more strength if it weren’t like that”. I understand the reader’s point, but at the same time I was wondering: what do people know about anonymity for treatment effectiveness?
The only treatment that works for me as an alcoholic has been around for over 80 years and has saved many lives. I have enormous respect for Alcoholics Anonymous, and this therapy recommends anonymity. I could spend hours talking about this, but I just wanted to explain that keeping confidential about who I am, what I do, where I come from, is part of the treatment. And if it has been working for so long – and, as far as I know, statistically it is the procedure that most recovers patients from alcoholism –, who would I be to disrespect the program? Why innovate and change a winning team?
In my mind, it would be the same as if someone with diabetes disputed the effectiveness of insulin. Or a cancer patient doubted the chemotherapy treatment. In recovery, I learned not to question. I am more of an alcoholic who is powerless in the face of alcohol, and who at a certain point lost control of life. I accept and follow my treatment.
I have a great alcoholic friend who stopped drinking in another way and today he lives very well. He is someone I often talk to about alcoholism. I told him the reader’s comment about anonymity and he, as always, very wise, replied: “I don’t feel competent to talk about it.” I thought, like many things I see in him, genius.
That’s it, I understand the reader’s discomfort, but secrecy is part of my treatment and it works for me. There’s a reason for that.
As I said in the first text of the blog, I write with the intention of telling my story, saying that it is possible to live without alcohol. As an active alcoholic, I did things that only someone like me can understand. Among alcoholics it is only felt, not explained. And in this complicity I find my bandage every day.
With these texts I don’t want to convince anyone to do anything. Reflecting, perhaps.
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